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Although
this portion is called Sarah's life, it actually begins with Sarah's
death. Our sages say that the life or our forefathers and mothers
live on in the generations which follow -- l'dor va dor, from generation
to generation.
Today
I would like to talk about "the mother of the year". I
already spoke about Hagar being a terrible mother in our eyes since
she left Ishmael to die alone in the desert. Being a mother is a
very difficult role. Most mothers walk around with a feeling of guilt
that they are not or did not do the right things in raising their
children. In the Scriptures the perfect mother does not exist. G-d
however commanded children to honor their mother and father not because
of their deeds but because as parents we represent G-d's authority
here on earth. As He gave us life, so parents give life to their
children.
God's
love for us is like the love of a mother for her children. It cannot
be compared with a father's love. He will never understand the nurturing
aspect that can only come from mother. A mother will die for her
young and protect them to the death. Of course, there are always
exceptions but for today, let us just accept this for what it is.
G-d
was in the process of building the kahal Israel, the community of
Israel and the mother played a very important role in this. In the
last portion, we read that Sarah after bringing her Egyptian servant,
Hagar to Abraham became very distraught when she saw Ishmael mistreating
her son, Yitzchak. The one whom she used call her son suddenly became
the son of the slave woman. Like any typical mother, she didn't want
her son to be associated with children of bad behavior. Unfortunately
our children always pick up our bad traits before they learn our
good ones. Also bad company breeds bad behavior. It is not always
so simple because we cannot divorce our children and like G-d no
matter what Israel does, he will never abandon us. There are however
consequences for our actions. G-d is our father with the love of
a mother for us.
Sarah
is portrayed in some of the passages as a timid woman. We see her
hiding when the angels come to visit yet when her son Yitzchak is
threatened by Ishmael, her true nature comes out and she screams
at Abraham to get rid of them. In the same manner, how many of us
put on a face for the public which is a very different one when we
are in our homes. How many times has a family come to the congregation
and at first glance they look like a wonderful, G-d fearing and loving
family to the envy of all who see? Yet in a short period of time
after they are unmasked do they show that they are like everyone
else. Israel has produced a lot of children, with a lot of problems
that have multiplied over the years. With the grace of G-d, He has
kept us alive over the centuries because of His Name, not because
of our goodness.
Our
sages say that Sarah is the mother of the promise, the mother of
G-d's intervention. We have all been blessed through the miraculous
birth of Yitzchak through Sarah, by that promise to the miraculous
birth of Messiah Yeshua through Miriam. The miracle came through
the woman since Abraham did not lose his ability to procreate. Abraham
became the father of many nations including the Arabic peoples through
Ishmael and after he was 137 years old he married Keturah and through
her and his many concubines he fathered many of the Asian nations.
Yitzchak however would be the one chosen by G-d to be the father
of Jacob through whom Israel the people of the promise would come.
Israel
has never learned to be a good child. We have from the beginning
disobeyed the instructions handed to us by G-d our Father. In spite
of this, even though a human parent might abandon his child, G-d
said that He would never abandon us. The story of the prodigal son
is the perfect example of that.
Yitzchak
was so attached to his mother, that in order to comfort him after
the death of Sarah, Abraham sends his servant Eleazar to the home
of his brother Nachor, (where Nachor's son Betuel had fathered Lavan
and Rivka) to find a wife to comfort him. He truly was a mama's boy.
The mother's role is a powerful one throughout history. Mothers have
to be careful not to be selfish and prejudiced toward their own children
where their children can do no wrong. They need to be able to see
their good but also their negative characteristics. G-d doesn't love
us because of how good we are but in spite of our failures and imperfections.
We can't hide these from Him.
A
mother's love is unconditional as is G-d's love for us. Do we only
respond to G-d because of what He can do for us? Do we only do for
others because of what we can get in return?
It
is time that we become more honest with ourselves and others about
who we are and why we do what we do. G-d is going to make us very
uncomfortable in order to get us to change. We are to be agents of
change, being a catalyst with one another so that we help each other
be unmasked. That is what it means when the Scriptures say that we
are like "iron against iron." We are not true friends by
ignoring what we do.
The
most important thing we can do for our children is transmit the love
of the G-d of Israel. G-d is merciful beyond description. All our
roles models from the Scriptures have imperfections. He didn't choose
us because we were perfect. Only He is perfect. All of us have a
special role to play in the plan of G-d. He tells us what He wants
us to do, we don't tell Him.
In
the case of Sarah, she followed her husband Abraham when he left
Ur even if she thought he was crazy. She cared for her home. She
continued to love her husband even after he asked her twice to say
she was his sister. Sarah caused a huge problem with Hagar and then
wanted Abraham to fix it, like any typical woman. We can't blame
Sarah though since it was Abraham who needed to wear the pants in
the family. It sounds a little like Adam and Eve. As usual, G-d needed
to intervene. It was not easy for Abraham to send away Ishmael but
Sarah was a strong influence on him and he honored her. In the same
way, Yeshua honored his mother at the wedding of Cana, when like
a good Jewish mother who didn't know how to mind her own business
she told him what to do when they ran out of wine. He too like Abraham
obeying Sarah followed her instructions. It is best that we would
inherit and learn from Abraham's good qualities of very faithful
to G-d than his negative ones…but that is not human nature.
The
bottom line is that with G-d is in charge. We as parents can continue
to lay blame on each other for how our children have turned out…if
only we had done this or that. We need to remember that we did and
are doing the best we can with the tools we have. As earthly parents
we are limited but our heavenly Father is not limited. We must always
remember that when we start to feel guilty, place blame or are struggling
in any of the areas of our lives, we need to look at the issue head
on, to face them, not ignore them or try to sweep them under the
rug. Instead of condemning or judging one another, let us look at
ourselves, see who we are as limited beings and accept. Acceptance
brings change. It is a humbling experience but it is the soil in
which G-d can do His work in us. He wants us to change and be agents
of change for others. Let us always have a special reverence for
our parents, even when they have not been perfect; we honor them
simply because it is G-d's mitzvah (commandment), remembering that
we too are not perfect.
May
G-d add blessings to His Word!
Rabbi
Percy Johnson
Netanel
ben Yochanan
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[b lantn
©
2008 Use by Permission
Kehilat
She’ar Yashuv
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